They say it can’t be done. We are told the laws of physics prevent it. It’s an impossibility!
Turns out they are all wrong. You can become a time traveler. I believe, we each have our own time machine. I have been across the event horizon in my mind. Memories beckoned. The call from the past became too strong. I just had to visit. Let me explain a bit further.
Tales from the past
Not so long ago I recalled some past difficulties. Some rather destabilizing life events from my fairly distant past came back to me. Came back in detail. Happenings from over a decade surfaced in my mind in the form of two scripts. For more context, this is me reading the first one. Kind of like spoken word. I don’t wish to dwell on the happenings here. That’s not the point. I’d rather invite you to visit a couple of moments from the last five years where I have used various practices to stay stable.
The ups and downs we all experience are universal. Some may have higher peaks and deeper troughs of mood. But the forces we are contending with can be contained. They can be controlled by the choices we make. If we learn to live more in the moment, maybe we can increase the gap between stimulus and response. Become calmer. More composed. We can make better, wiser decisions. We can better support our future selves.
Recognizing the Signs
In late 2019, I had just dropped my son at nursery. I had given up the secure job of the last four years to pursue a career in digital marketing. The idea was to be a freelance copywriter. To edit. To write. To Proofread.
Overall to make money and build up skills. Some gigs were forthcoming, but most of my income (for several months) was from a dubious platform. I wasn’t entirely sure but I was probably ghost-writing student essays. At any rate, I was good at it.
An autumnal chill was in the air as I pulled my phone to check an email notification. It was the feedback I had been waiting for. I read the email. I had had many positive sentiments on articles and essays before. Now came the kick in the teeth. The ‘client’ was very unhappy. Didn’t like my style. Wanted a total rewrite.
I drew in the fresh cold air through my clenched jaw. I didn’t have the time. Didn’t they know I had a First Class Degree? I was offended, appalled. I paced home thinking of all the comebacks and wisecracks I could make. I could bring their scam-like system down I thought. How dare they treat me like this?
The Issue for Mood
As soon as I got back I saw the full blister pack of pills. I recalled it had been full the previous day. The day before too. Instantly I saw where my anger had come from. Several days without medication had reduced my emotional resilience, added in a psychotic card to my mood deck that I was drawing from.
I worked hard to centre myself that day. To keep calm, keep rational. This brought home two things. One the importance of the medication regime. Two the importance of self-awareness/observation. If I hadn’t noticed the full pack of pills I may never have made the connection.
Routine as an Anchor
It’s 2021 and we’re in the new house. Our second son has made his traumatic way into the world. He is here. He is healthy but boy is he demanding. He throws up at least a third of the milk we get down him. We’re up three times a night. It’s hard on my wife. Hard on both of us.
In the midst of broken nights, amid other worries, establishing a solid daily routine became the lifeline. Meal times were set firmly and we made sure to eat together as a family. This was somewhere we could voice concerns, try to work out where we were each at. Maintain a semblance of normality amidst the chaos.
In the evenings that I didn’t fall asleep when reading my eldest his bedtime story I would meditate. The dull tones of Sam Harris voice guiding me into relaxation. It was these anchor points in the day that got us through.
As we adhered to this routine, I noticed a gradual improvement in our emotional resilience. The predictability of our daily activities, coupled with intentional practices for mental health, created a buffer against the unpredictability of our situation. It was frantic at time. A madness of sorts, but we made it.
Managing Mood Through Routine
It’s easy enough to say that carving out a routine will improve things. There’s no magic here though. One has to work at routine. Work at anchoring practices into becoming daily occurrences. It can be a struggle. A challenge.
The good news is, a successful routine compounds. If you take enough positive steps at the same time each day. The benefits of taking those steps will be greater the longer you take them. This is why the basic tasks of child-raising become easier over time. Or why we get better at anything really.
Tools and Support
Of course, these moments from back in time don’t reveal everything that has kept me stable over the last decade. For that you’ll have to read my forthcoming book; Life Between Extremes. I’m currently working on the manuscript and I would love to have a book complete by May 2025. Watch this space, and please sign up for the newsletter.
My general advice to control mood would be to practice self-awareness, and keep a healthy, regular routine. Just know that if digital aids are your thing than the UK based charity Mind has a mental health app library which you can access. I have found Sam Harris’s meditation app Waking Up to be highly useful. There are other similar offerings available if you aren’t a Sam Harris fan.
Most importantly, speak to other people. Build a support network of helpful types. All in all, being a time traveler in your own life isn’t about changing the past. It’s about learning from it to more carefully navigate the future. About understanding that each step, each routine, and each support system you build clears your path to a better life.