Learning from children: adopting a playful attitude to life

A nearby temper tantrum

Today, I witnessed a horrendous tantrum. I was waiting in a queue to pay for lunch at Thatcham garden centre café. I had my two young children there with me. As I was keeping an eye on them clinging to my legs, I heard an awful racket start up close by.

The sound rose. A complete air-raid siren type of wailing hit my ears. It was a screaming toddler behind us in the queue. He had physically dropped down to writhe on the floor and pump out noise. Prone on the ground and wailing, his mother was frantically trying to calm him.

As the cries persisted, it was starting to feel overwhelming. I couldn’t shake off the feeling of being uncomfortable. I felt bad for the mother sure, but the noise and the proximity of the crying youngster was affecting me too. Looking upward I blinked rapidly and felt my face flush. I was getting more and more tense as I was waiting, stuck in this static queue.

All was alarming

My heart began to race. I couldn’t focus on anything else but the noise and the tension was building. I felt like I was trapped in this situation and I didn’t know how to escape. Looking down, I expected my anxiety to be mirrored by my own kids but instead I was greeted with a vision of calm. Somehow they were ignoring the noise and were playfully engaged in a game they had concocted!

This was unusual for them to be so engaged with each other. They were counting small plastic flower pots next to the queue and nodding about the amounts. It struck me as bizarre. I felt instantly chilled looking at them not registering the discomfort of the situation.

Suddenly, there was movement in the queue. The mother was dragging her reluctant boy out of the café. All was right again. This episode was my kids reminding me of something. Teaching me that a playful attitude is a good way of dealing with difficult situations.

The power of a playful attitude

There are much more positive benefits that stem from having a playful attitude. What exactly am I talking about here though? It means engaging with the world with energy, joy and enthusiasm. Simply enjoying any activity for its own sake. Chan Master Hongzhi suggests that adopting and maintaining a playful attitude may eventually lead to enlightenment.

Even without seeking Nirvana a playful attitude can help to reduce stress and increase overall well-being. This happens as we take a more lighthearted and open-minded approach to life. It allows us to put aside worries and concerns and focus on the present moment which can be very beneficial for mental and emotional well-being. Just like my children counting small flower pots, we can find joy in the little things and appreciate the beauty of life.

This childlike way of thinking (or Beginner’s mind) also has the power to unleash creativity, and open doors to endless possibilities. It may even push us to take risks, think outside the box, and experiment with new ideas. A spirit of experimentation often leads to new opportunities and personal growth. We can deal with many types of creative block and move forward with our endeavours.

Beginner’s mind

‘Beginner’s mind’ is a concept in Buddhism that refers to the idea of approaching one’s practice with a sense of openness and curiosity, like a beginner. It means to approach with a fresh perspective, free from preconceptions and judgments. It is associated with the Zen notion of shoshin which means Beginner’s mind in the sense of having an attitude of openness and eagerness.

A lack of preconceptions when studying a subject (even when studying at an advanced level) keeps opportunities open. The Beginner’s mind then, is a state of receptivity that allows one to fully engage with the present moment whilst remaining open to new insights and experiences. This concept is often used in Zen Meditation and Zen practice to cultivate a sense of curiosity and openness in one’s approach.

A playful attitude can also be a powerful tool for fostering connection and building relationships with others. Playfulness is associated with vulnerability and authenticity. Even a willingness to let go of our guard. When we are able to let go of our preconceptions and judgments, we become more open to truly connecting with others. This can lead to deeper and more meaningful connections, where we can challenge negativity and difficult emotions.

A communal playful attitude

One of the key ways that such a playful attitude can foster connection is by promoting a sense of community. When we are able to approach others with a sense of playfulness and openness, we create an environment in which others feel safe to be themselves. Something akin to group acceptance.

This can lead to a sense of belonging and camaraderie (group facets that are incredibly important in building strong relationships). For example, when we are able to share a laugh or a playful moment with someone we create a memory. This can strengthen bonds and forge a sense of shared identity.

In addition to fostering connection with others, a playful attitude can also open us up to new possibilities within our work. When we approach our work with a sense of playfulness and openness, we are more likely to be creative and innovative. This is because playfulness is associated with curiosity and a willingness to take risks. Letting go of preconceived notions we become more open to new and novel ideas.

Applying a playful attitude to tasks

On reflection, I approach tasks in my working life with a playful attitude and I would say a Beginner’s mind. I recently investigated a chatbot (using Landbot.io) for work and it was itself an example of approaching things with a playful attitude. The idea of building a chatbot was transformed from a potentially mundane task to an exciting and engaging project.

Complementing this, using a no-code platform meant it was straight forward to get involved with novel designs and features. The final application at work would be quite different, but to test the software platform, I built a chatbot in my own time. It was to be part of the marketing funnel for my own digital art. The whole process was easy and intuitive. I was done in two hours.

The end result was a chatbot that I think stands out and provides a dynamic and enjoyable (if basic) experience for users. Embracing a playful attitude allowed me to easily create something functional and memorable.

Final thought

With a playful attitude, we can all discover a new world of possibilities, that will not only make us more successful but also more fulfilled. Embracing a playful attitude and adopting Beginner’s mind mentality, is a game changer. It helps us to see life from a different perspective and makes everything more enjoyable.

And just in case you’re interested…

Below is an embedded version of the chatbot I created: