Exhausted. Spent. Worn out.
All of this, but also exhilarated.
Several years away from Muay Thai will do that to you. The pads don’t care. The trainer doesn’t care. And your body? That doesn’t care either. It just responds. The breath rate returns, energy surges back for the session. Adrenaline can be called forth.
A regular warm up. An extensive sweat-inducing circuit. Then putting together a sequence. Jab, cross, hook. Dodge. Hook, cross. Not even a lot to remember. Surely a simple kickboxing combination? I struggled after the exertions of the cardio of the class to remember these six moves. It was all fun though. An enjoyable challenge.
Afterwards, I floated to my parked car on a feel good high. Enjoying the endorphin rush. Then I slumped in the driver’s seat, arms heavy, hips tight. Aches in all the right places. And yet I felt incredible. Not because I had been good. I hadn’t been. My form was off. My stamina was woeful. I was a beginner again. Which was exactly what I needed.
No need to prove anything
I hadn’t gone to the session to prove myself. Back at the Wicker Camp it had been my physical passion. Almost decades ago now. Muay Thai is an intriguing discipline. I recall the intensity of the training, the camaraderie of the club, and the viciousness of the fights. The return to training at Omega Fit Academy was much needed and welcome. Since meeting the trainers at a popup market in my local town I have been keen. Finally getting there felt like such an accomplishment. Beginning again as exciting as anything should be.
This notion of holding a beginner’s mind floods through life currently. It is strange how easy it is to forget what it feels like to start from zero. To approach something not in the midrange. Certainly not as someone experienced, but just as someone curious. Uncertain. The avenues for exploration are wide open.
“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few”
Shunryu Suzuki
That feeling has been showing up in unexpected places. Finishing one employment work contract and setting up to walk into a new one. Meeting strangers at a breakfast gathering at a fantastic co-working space and quickly striking up positive conversation. Promoting my current side project, VibeQuiz, in small, sometimes awkward ways. The latter involved small pangs of beginner’s mind too. Giving out cards, explaining what it is, and realising mid-sentence that I am very much figuring it out myself.
The Side Hustle
VibeQuiz is an idea I have been shaping quietly for a while now. It is an online gift-finding tool designed to connect people with thoughtful presents from UK-based independent shops. The aim is simple. To make gift finding less tedious. More fun, and easier for shoppers. All while giving small businesses a platform that respects their individuality.
Users take a quiz thinking about the recipient. VibeQuiz returns a vibe as a result of the answers. Each vibe has between one and eight gift ideas associated with it. These are in the form of links to independent business websites.
I am certainly learning as I go. It takes more than bullet journaling. Partnerships, outreach, messaging. Basically the business side of things is all new terrain. Therefore I am not approaching it as a polished entrepreneur with a ten-point road map. I am just someone who believes in the idea enough to keep showing up for it.
That’s where beginner’s mind is more than helpful. It’s necessary. If I held too tightly to being right or ready, I would never hand out a single card. I would never talk about it at a coffee shop. it wouldn’t build momentum at all. Instead, I am trying to stay in that open space. The space where I can be curious, adaptable, and willing to roll with the punches.
Final thought
Beginner’s mind is far from a weakness. It is presence. And this week, its realisation has been everywhere. In the recovery on the car journey home from the kickboxing. In the awkward pauses while explaining an idea that I am still learning to believe in. Most of all in the sparks of new connections over breakfast, in coffee shops and at craft markets.
Not knowing is strangely energising. It means there’s still space. Space to breathe, space to begin again.