Depths of despair
I lay still.
I stared at the ceiling.
The orange glow of the streetlight slanted through the naff blinds.
That colour reminded me of hope. Not a nice hope, but a mocking hope. Optimism felt fanciful, like a fairytale. Something other people had but never me.
I was in my early twenties. Not long out of university and encountering problems with the real world. Employers not caring about my degree. Rejections stacking up in my inbox. My social life? That was falling apart too. I felt like I’d been single forever. Wondering why everyone else had fantastic and fulfilling lives but mine had misstarted. I embraced isolation.
Looking back, this was near rock bottom.
I’ve been there.
The sleepless nights. The anxious reunions with old friends. Having nothing to update them on. Feeling worthless listening to their stories. Something like envy on hearing their plans. Although with less energy. Always less energy than full-on jealousy. Leaving social encounters concerned about how I had just come across. But, also hoping that was the last time I would see that person.
If you told that version of me, that one day I would be writing about optimism, I wouldn’t have believed you. I would have shrugged it off, ignored you completely. It was other people whose lives worked, who didn’t have to fake their smiles in social settings or carry the weight of their own thoughts.
But things do change
Prominent psychologists talk about fixed personality traits. But I promise you, people change. Not all at once. Not in some grand, movie-style revelation. Instead, personal change is gradual, messy, and full of false starts. For me, there was no single turning point, but rather a series of small things.
Things that I barely noticed at the time. Support from people who cared. Learning to challenge my own thoughts. And, at various points across the years, notebooks, which became journals. I started recording small, positive happenings. Almost by accident at first. Then, slowly, it became more structured, became a bullet journal. What began as a quiet act of rebellion against the damaging belief that nothing ever gets better became a powerful catalyst for change.
Amongst all the madness around today, there is a need for radical hope, optimism, and positive belief. I’ve written recently about hope. Also, I’m no Christian but there’s something about the Biblical saying “wherever two or more of you meet, there I am”. Like happiness, hope and positivity can be contagious. It can be uplifting and it can compound.
Compounding Optimism
There’s science behind the idea of compounding optimism. While this as a term doesn’t seem widely used, the underlying psychology is well-documented. It aligns with concepts like positive feedback loops, neuroplasticity, and broaden-and-build theory in positive psychology.
When you repeatedly acknowledge good things it reinforces a habit of looking for the positive. Over time, this shifts your default perspective, making optimism a natural response rather than a forced effort. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory explains that positive emotions don’t only make us feel good in the moment. They actually expand our capacity to think, connect, and grow.
Therefore, the more we embrace optimism, the more we create opportunities, strengthen relationships, and build resilience. All of this fueling a cycle where positivity breeds more positivity.
On a neurological level, neuroplasticity plays a role too. The more frequently you focus on gratitude and positive aspects of life, the stronger those neural pathways become. Gradually rewiring your brain to default to optimism. And as optimism influences your decisions, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy, where a positive outlook directly improves your life circumstances.
Shift your Entire Mindset
Research shows that gratitude practices increase long-term happiness, reduce stress, and improve emotional resilience. Try it. Take your time. Over the course of a year, this habit will subtly rewire your brain to scan for positives more naturally. This doesn’t mean you’ll never have days that don’t go to plan, of course. Yet it will mean that optimism becomes a mental reflex, helping you get through.
Beyond mindset, gratitude also strengthens relationships and emotional well-being. When you intentionally focus on what is going right, you become more attuned to the people who support you. You notice more too. Notice the moments that bring joy. Notice the opportunities that might have gone unseen before. Over time, this creates an upward spiral of positivity.
Looking back, I can see how those quiet moments of gratitude were investments in my future self. People love that question of what would you tell your younger self. I would say this:
“Dear Cam, optimism isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build. You can build it with pen and paper. No pressure, just write, day by day.”