On being bothered: Do you recognise your zone of control?

If only I could give out medals for services to my life. I would award Lex Fridman ‘Most Informative Podcaster’ for his excellent work interviewing a wide range of public intellectuals. He consistently puts out thought-provoking and intriguing episodes. His work rate is phenomenal. The discussions themselves are deep. The guests often provide new avenues of interest.

In one of Lex’s recent conversations he spoke at length with an old hero of mine, Jordan Peterson. Peterson is now regularly courting controversy. You can find him at odds with current trends on many issues. Yet about four years ago, I spent a lot of time absorbing his ideas.

The influence of Jordan Peterson

I happily worked my way through his Biblical lecture series during my daily commutes into London from where I was living at the time. I also made use of his Future Authoring Programme to add shape and direction to my coming years. Perhaps he also deserves a medal. I’ll award him, ‘Most Influential Thinker’.

Truth be told, I don’t write as much as I would like to. Not these days. Not for fun anyway. So I had a listen to what Peterson had to say on the podcast episode about getting into a writing habit. He suggests that I should be writing about what bothers me.

Taking a Picasso quote which appeared on my Pomodoro app, ‘action is the foundational key to all success.’ Well, I’m taking action here. The action is writing, and the writing is directed by what’s currently bothering me.

What’s bothering me now?

Here are some things that bother me in August 2022.

Current affairs within the UK

Primarily the energy price cap. I’m not entirely sure what the term means. Especially as its called a cap but a household can pay more than the cap and the cap is predicted to keep going up. It can’t be a cap then right? Despite my ignorance, I gather that what’s occurring will make me personally poorer. It will also make already poor people destitute. No answer from those in power. No plan. Nothing.

Which brings me on to a related topic – the current cabal of wreckers in government. This has honestly got to be the most corrupt, shameless bunch of inept and arrogant leaders we’ve had. At least that I can remember anyway. Needless to say, the moral vacuum at the heart of the country is bothering me.

Undiagnosed health problems

I have something going on with one of my ears. It is often blocked. This is something I’d ask at the pharmacy about if only I didn’t have to queue for half an hour to get to speak to all my local pharmacies. Don’t even think about getting a doctors appointment in my neck of the woods. Basically, every morning I wake up with a blocked left ear. My hearing is slightly diminished on that side. Some days it remains like that all day. Most days it clears by the afternoon and there’s a moment when it pops clear.

Usually, I practice gratitude for my good health. That’s because (usually) I am in good health. Even with the child-induced broken sleep, the lack of regular exercise and the probably too high sugar intake. I am wondering if I leave the ear, will it resolve itself? Maybe. For now, it’s bothering me all the same.

Liverpool Football Club

Supporting a sports club is a great thing to be involved with. It provides an overriding interest, an immediate community of like minded individuals and regular events to look forward to and hopefully celebrate. When the team are not performing though it can be very frustrating. After six momentous years of building the team under the current manager the last few weeks have proved challenging, turning a joy into more of a trial.

This is a rather luxurious thing to be bothered about. As a famous person once said, football is the most important of least important things. I feel annoyed all the same. It is simply obvious that the club has been under performing. Three games into the season and we are winless. We are due to play Bournemouth at our home ground tomorrow. In our stride this would be a walk in the park. With the team in the current form and with our current injury list it will be nervy.

What can be done about these things?

The above is what’s bothering me, or the first three things that came to mind anyway. I guess I could go deeper if I was in the right mood. I could analyze the root cause of my frustrations. This could start with an aim to explore and understand my suffering. However, in the grand scheme of things, what is bothering me is small fry. I live in a technology enhanced cocoon of comfort.

And you know what? I am glad. I am grateful that my problems are small problems. As of right now, I do not live in a war zone. I also, don’t live in a failed state, although Twitter would have me believe that’s the case (but that’s another story). So thanks, Mr Peterson, writing about what’s bothering me made me feel better tonight.

In general, I recommend this as an exercise. Write down what’s bothering you. Make a list. See if they are things that you can do anything about. If they are not in your zone of control forget about them.

Are you in control?

It’s not easy to recognise your zone of control. It was possibly always the case, yet now it’s exacerbated by novel forces. We get a constant stream of messages from the wider world. This external input to our immediate experience of life distorts our subjective reality.

Everyone has a ‘zone’ or area in which they can make changes. Their own behaviours, attitudes and thoughts. For me, the time I spend on social media and news apps directly correlates to my residual levels of anger. This is misplaced anger. It arises from sources I can’t control.

Recognising the difference between things we can control and those which we can’t leads to much more peace of mind. Next time something is bothering you, ask if you are in control. If you are, take action. If not, let it go.