Scary Times
I close my eyes. Blackness. Solitude. Fear of the unknown. I picture horrendous things out there in the darkness. My inner voice tells me they want to harm me. Shadow beings with teeth like knives and creatures with many horns and limbs. Crawling, scrambling somewhere out behind the house. Horrific internal storytelling.
This was how I felt each night waiting to fall asleep for years. My childhood as a whole was fine but when I was little I was terribly afraid of the dark. I used my imagination to picture a force field protecting my body from these demons that I supposed hid in the shadows.
As I matured through my preteen and teen years these irrational fears subsided. I became more interested in darkness. It served as cover for fun activities. The evening no longer heralded a challenge for me to get to sleep up in my own room. Instead the nocturnal world became a source of intrigue and inspiration.
The blackness of night-time became a source of curiosity for my young mind. Fear became fascination. I would tell myself the night is my friend. Remembering this shift in storytelling has made me realize something that I am only appreciating twenty years later. The stories we tell ourselves, no matter how trivial, have the power to shape our realities.
The Architects of Reality
In today’s world, there is an emphasis on understanding the narratives that we create and the lens through which we view our reality. I’ve mentioned the importance of perception elsewhere on this site. Needless to say it’s not some modern construct. The notions are deeply embedded in the human psyche and philosophy.
Our lives are dictated not just by events but by our perceptions of these events. Beliefs and expectations shape reality. Imagine expecting a day to go poorly. You will be on the lookout for things to confirm this belief, ignoring any evidence to the contrary. Conversely, approaching a situation with a positive mindset often leads to numerous mini self-fulfilling prophecies that generate good outcomes.
The Mosaic of the Multiverse
Drawing on the concept of our internal realities, we as human agents create our own lived moments which together constitute the greater reality we share. Our experiences, memories, and interpretations fashion unique realities. Thus, in a world teeming with billions, there exist billions of unique, nuanced worlds.
Expanding on this idea of unique realities, consider the following: there are as many ‘universes’ or experienced realities as there are consciousnesses. Much like parallel universes in science fiction, our individual realities are intricately interwoven and overlapping. While we might share events, each person experiences and interprets them differently, creating a mosaic of human experiences. A multiverse if you will. So can there be an objective reality at all?
Everything is subjective
At a glance, everything might appear distinct — a wall, a door frame, or even our hands. Yet, there is no objective difference between a wall and a door frame in terms of detached distinction. From this viewpoint, the matter that constitutes our human bodies and our surroundings are essentially the same. Matter exists in space-time, and our perception creates distinctions. We ascribe functions, stories, and meanings to these materials, thereby forging our interpretations and uses.
Although the measurable universe appears to have an objective reality, it is possible to conceive that this exists as a product of subjective realities interacting with each other. How about an even crazier idea. Perhaps consciousness is fundamental to the universe and reality emerges out of being? Rather than the current understanding that objective reality is fundamental and consciousness emerges out of biological evolution.
Narratives and Manifestations
Whatever the fundamental nature of reality, the usefulness of understanding perception cannot be ignored. Perceptions drive our internal storytelling. Given the power of our perceptions, we manifest in the social world as the stories we tell ourselves. Additionally, when we meet someone new, the narratives we create about them come to determine our interactions and future relationships. This is complicated by our own biographies, preconceptions and prejudices.
Our internal narratives, coloured by self-doubt or self-belief, similarly shape our actions and reactions. Therefore the world we experience is, in large part, a reflection of the stories we tell ourselves. This extends from the stories we tell ourselves about our own life stories to the narratives we construct around other people’s behaviour. Hence, how we approach our own storytelling is key.
Using storytelling for self-improvement
There is a fundamental Zen idea which underpins positive reflections: ‘every day is a good day‘. By adopting this perspective, you can train your mind to seek out the positive, even in mundane or challenging situations. You can also turn around your interpretations of the behaviours of others, casting them in a more reverent light. This becomes a kind of empowering storytelling. When you improve your storytelling you improve your mindset.
In his book Build for Tomorrow, Jason Feifer suggests everyone has a dominant question. Something they are subconsciously always asking about their circumstances and situations. A negative example may be when you experience a string of bad luck and your dominant question becomes “why do these things keep happening to me?”. A great point that Jason makes is that it is possible to ‘hack’ your own dominant question, to change it and use it to improve your day-to-day life.
Final Thoughts
For myself, I intend to build on the Zen perspective by framing my dominant question as “How is this day a good day?” or “What is making this a good day?”. The action and reframing exercised here is open to anyone. Why not try it yourself? I invite you to appreciate the smaller joys of life and interpret events more favourably.
The realm of positivity is not just about blind optimism but understanding the mechanisms with which we bring about our realities. Each of us holds the power to significantly enhance our life experiences. The stories you tell yourself today shape the reality you live in tomorrow. Choose them wisely.