It’s in his kiss
Did you know that men who kiss their partners before leaving the house reportedly live, on average, four years longer than those who don’t?
This is an intriguing finding. Surely there’s more going on here? More than the simple act of a daily kiss?
It is most likely a reflection. Most likely a resemblance of the deeper power of gratitude, appreciation, and affection in our daily lives. I think it’s this – maintaining a regular and simple gesture of love nurtures personal relationships and puts one in a positive frame of mind.
Such actions embody the essence of living authentically and appreciatively, concepts that spiritual leaders and life coaches often explore in their transformative works. I’ll get on to the insights I’ve learned from some of these very soon.
Basically, I would like to consider how integrating gratitude and authentic living, like the morning kiss, can influence our health, happiness, and understanding of Zen principles as we go about our daily lives.
A random epiphany
I recently came across Martha Beck, a very upbeat lifestyle and wellness guru. In turn, her discussion on the Tim Ferriss podcast led me to Byron Katie. The story of the latter lady is so profound it’s worth recounting.
In 1986, Byron Katie experienced a moment of enlightenment that dramatically shifted her perspective on life. After a decade of spiralling depression and despair, Katie found herself in a halfway house, feeling so unworthy that she slept on the floor.
One morning, she awoke to find a cockroach crawling over her foot, which triggered a sudden and deep realization. That all her suffering was rooted in her thoughts. In that moment, she understood that when she believed her thoughts, she suffered, but when she questioned them, she did not suffer.
This epiphany led her to develop “The Work,” a process of inquiry that involves questioning and turning around stressful thoughts to find peace and clarity. Katie’s transformation was so complete that it cured her depression and also gave her a new purpose to teach this path to mental freedom to others.
Doing the work on your mind
Byron Katie’s approach, further distilled through her notion that “everything is mind and everything is good,” presents a challenging and deep perspective. At first glance, this assertion may seem excessively optimistic. Detached from reality even. Particularly when confronted with life’s undeniable hardships and the capriciousness of fate.
However, within the Zen philosophy, a similar sentiment is echoed: “every day is a good day.” This Zen idea is not about denying suffering, but actually about recognizing the ever-present potential for enlightenment. Seeing positivity in every moment, every situation.
In Katie’s body of work, this concept encourages individuals to question their stressful thoughts and examine how they influence their reality. She often uses “The Work” to guide such introspection, which involves asking four questions to challenge and deal with the thoughts that cause suffering.
This approach shares similarities with Zen practices that focus on mindfulness and the nature of thoughts. Both philosophies invite us to see life through a lens of intrinsic goodness, suggesting a radical acceptance of the present.
Just being ourselves for a moment
Back to Martha Beck. Beck places a significant emphasis on authenticity, which she articulates as knowing what you really know, feeling what you really feel, and doing what you truly want. This aligns with the Zen pursuit of understanding oneself and one’s place in the universe. Keeping perspective.
Beck’s viewpoint then challenges us to strip away societal expectations and personal illusions to uncover our genuine selves. When she talks about Byron Katie’s influence on her own journey, she talks of all people having fields of energy, and Katie’s always being outstandingly positive due to her authenticity.
These insights can be particularly liberating. Beck encourages us to embrace our true feelings and desires as pathways to a fulfilling life. This is especially relevant today, where social and media influences can often drown out our more natural inner voice.
In the context of Zen, authenticity involves observing our thoughts and actions with detachment and clarity. This allows us to act from a place of deep inner truth rather than from fleeting desires or external pressures. Being true to your own being.
Final Thoughts
The profound effects of simple acts of affection, such as a morning kiss, coupled with the transformative insights of challenging thoughts and being authentic will lead to a better quality of life.
These actions enrich us. Daily gestures of love, and the mental rigour of questioning thoughts, nurture our personal relationships and deepen our own understanding of ourselves.
Ultimately, the promise here is on a small but crucial scale. Integrating little actions of affection into our daily routines and challenging stressful thinking patterns won’t solve all the worlds problems. But it will improve your outlook on them, and you may live longer as a result.