Changes Afoot
There are significant changes afoot in my life and I thought I would write a blog post to try and get a handle on where I am at mentally. I am not overly concerned that I cannot or will not be able to cope in the near future, I just realise I have hardly used this particular creative outlet for some months now and there is something unusual about that. In further explanation, there are a lot of new things about to happen, mainly surrounding the birth of my first child who will arrive in late October.
I’ve made this point somewhere before, that everyone has a state of mental health that they are always in, just like every person’s body is in a certain physical condition at any point in time. I have been a bit up and down recently with the house move to pretty much outside London, the increasing demands of work and managing the expectations and difficulties of my wife’s pregnancy. Whilst I have been a more bit up and down than usual, my wife has been a stalwart of stability.
I have a great deal of respect for my other half and she has impressed me yet again with how she is dealing with being pregnant and the various complications. We always spend a lot of time together anyway but have spent even more time in each others company as I have driven her to work each day since the move. One of the other bonuses of the long commute has been listening to interesting podcasts.
An Unexpected Source of Spirituality
I have been listening to a lot of Jordan Peterson material over the last couple of months and this is what has brought me to look at an important history book which I have long disregarded for various reasons.
I feel I must preface this by saying that I have for much time been more concerned with Eastern traditions and ways of thinking, but now I am unexpectedly drawn to a source of spirituality closer to home. Basically, there is a passage early on in the first book of the Old Testament which has resonated with me recently for some reason.
‘Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.’ – Genesis 1:2
The writing of Genesis 1:2 is in my mind a collective effort of primitive people at portraying what the state of near absolute nothingness was like. I do not think Genesis 1 is meant to be a literal story of how God created planet Earth because on reading it, it is not a description of planet Earth, it is a description of the world as the primitive plane of existence in which conscious individuals found themselves.
In Peterson’s analysis, he mentions how certain words used in the original languages before the Old Testament was translated into English have deeper meanings pertaining to potential. It is something like the darkness ‘over the surface of the deep’ relates to the infinite potential of being.
Why is this meaningful now?
My guess is that the lines from Genesis have probably stuck me as meaningful recently as this is a time of great potential in my life. I feel like anything is possible. Over the last year or so I have picked up new hobbies and interests. I have proved myself to be a valued colleague at my place of work.
I am looking forward to the excitement and challenges of becoming a parent. I realise time is limited and there will be a dwindling amount of time to spend on myself and my projects in the near future, but I have a feeling it will all be worthwhile.
There was an incident with one of the residents at my organisation, which resulted in a long description of various issues. Within it was contained a fairly articulate outline of the fact that homelessness could happen to any of us at some point in our lives. This to me was a reminder of how fortunate I have been to be blessed with the family and friends I have.
If I have learned anything in just over three decades of being in the world, it is that family matters most of all and that having healthy relationships with good friends is crucial to a good life. I am reassured that in whatever way the changes in my life transpire, my friends and family will provide care, comfort, advice and reassurance. Taking stock of this makes me smile.